Whose Line is it?
by SwirlyDragonfly
Summary: From the same person who wrote the fast food and it all started with a sneeze series. I now present the whose line is it collection Ep 14, What do you mean no one's been booked!
1. Episode 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Whose Line is it anyway?

**Episode 1**

**Swirly:** Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where the points mean absolutely nothing, I'll be your hostess tonight; let's welcome tonight's guests: The boy who's to nice for his own good, Sora.

**Sora:** (waves)

**Swirly: **The boy from the dark; Roxas.

**Roxas:** why am I doing this?

**Sora:** Oh come on it'll be fun

**Swirly: **Our next contestant is feeling hot hot hot, let's here it for Axel!

**Axel: **(smirks)

**Swirly: **Last but not least we have the boy with the stupid outfits; Riku.

**Riku:** What do you mean by 'stupid outfits?

**Swirly:** In the first game your outfit was okay, but then you went all evil and wore that skirt thingy and now your outfit totally lacks originality, you would've been better off keeping that cloak with the blindfold.

**Riku:** At least I didn't wear parachute pants in the first game!

**Sora:** Hey!

**Swirly:** At least Sora's outfit was more coordinated than yours. Anyway let's start our first game, Weird Newscasters. All of you are in this one, let's see, Riku you're the news anchor.

**Riku:** Yes!

**Swirly:** Who is madly in love with your co-anchor.

**Riku:** Shoulda known there was a catch.

**Swirly:** Roxas, you're the co-anchor, who hates to be touched.

**Roxas:** Works for me.

**Swirly:** Sora you'll be the sports man who expresses his inner thoughts that he doesn't get paid enough to do his job.

**Sora:** Gotcha

**Swirly:** And Axel you get to be the weatherman, who is going through a mid-life crisis, ok let's start.

**Riku:** Hi welcome to today's news at 11, I'm your anchor, Riku, and this is my lovely co-anchor Roxas. Today's top story; Ansem invented a solar powered flashlight, how ingenious. And our other top story, umm Roxas (he puts his hand on Roxas') why don't you tell them.

**Roxas:** Dude don't touch me!

**Riku:** (pulls his hand back)

**Roxas:** In other news, Xemnas lost his toothbrush and is having all of the members of Organization XIII searching franticly for it. And that ends our top stories… this just in, due to major flooding, everyone in Atlantica has drowned.

**Riku:** That's so tragic (starts sobbing and hugs Roxas)

**Roxas:** I told you to GET OFF OF ME (backhands Riku so hard he goes flying off stage) umm, sorry about that… now Sora with sports.

**Sora:** Thank you Roxas, the blitzball season is well underway and man it's hot here. I think my skin's starting to burn, geez they don't even pay me enough to buy a tube of sunscreen! Now lets go to Axel, who also makes more munny than me, with the weather.

**Axel:** Well the weather everywhere is generally hot and OMG it's a grey hair! (starts sobbing uncontrollably) I'm getting old…

**Swirly:** Very nice very nice, Riku are you alright?

**Riku:** yeah, just got me off guard.

**Swrily:** Our next game is Hoedown, that means we'll need all four of you again. Our theme for this Hoedown will be scary librarians, take it away.

**Sora:** Well just the other day I went to my library, and when I got there I saw this wrinkled old granny. She was so old she was probably 103.

**Roxas:** This library lady was so mean and scary. Probably cause her arms were so big and hairy. She was so mean she tried to kick me out and all I did was run and shout.

**Axel:** Her hair was grey and dusty and I thought she smelt like something musty. Her face was wrinkled she looked like a prune she kept on fallowing me around 'til afternoon.

**Riku:** She was very mean and very strict; I thought that she was acting like such a censored

**Swirly:** Thank you for that Riku, and thank late night tv for the censor button. Our last game of the evening is Questions only, let start with Axel and Roxas. The scene is your first 6th grade dance and remember questions only.

**Roxas:** Why are all the girls standing over there?

**Axel:** Do you want to dance with me?

**Roxas:** Are you nuts?

**Axel:** Doesn't it sound like fun?

**Roxas:** Why don't you ask a girl instead?

**Axel:** Don't you think your face is girly enough?

**Roxas:** What're you trying to imply there?

**Axel:** Don't you think we'd make a great dance team?

**Roxas:** umm no (Roxas is out Sora's in)

**Axel:** Who're you?

**Sora:** Don't you know who I am?

**Axel:** Were you on American Idol?

**Sora:** No, just in the Atlantica musical (Sora's out Riku's in)

**Axel:** Oh my God are you Miss America?

**Riku:** Are you asking me that question?

**Axel:** Are you a girl?

**Riku:** Do I look like a chick to you?

**Axel**: Yes

**Swirly:** (laughing) see you all next week, and remember to read and review. I'm taking suggestions for who you'd lie to see on our next show.


	2. Episode 2

**Episode 2**

**Swirly:** Hello welcome to whose line is it, tonight's guests are Namine,

**Namine:** Hello (waves)

**Swirly:** Marluxia,

**Marluxia:** umm hi

**Swirly**: Larxene,

**Larxene:** (waves like a queen)

**Swirly:** and returning from our last episode; Axel.

**Axel:** (waves to the audience)

**Swirly:** Let's start with a song game; Marluxia and Larxene will be trying to sell an album all about dental hygiene and Namine and Axel will be our singers. Take it away.

**Larxene**: Greetings have you ever sat in your dentist office and hear nothing but the sound of drills? Well you won't have to anymore if you order the 5 disk Dental hygiene hits.

**Marluxia**: Larxene, just how many songs are on this 5 disk set?

**Larxene**: There are 362 songs on this set, including the classic; Ready Steady Brush (sung to the tune of ready steady go)

**Axel:** Ready Steady get your brush wet, ready steady add the toothpaste, ready steady brush in the back, let's get started ready steady brush

**Namine:** Cavities are getting brushed away, Come on everybody brush them away. And don't forget to use your floss, to get all that stuff out from in between.

**Axel:** Brush them away

**Namine:** Speedily

**Axel:** Brush in the back and in the front, and don't forget to rinse. Go ahead and use the mouthwash so that your breath smells minty, oh please trust me!

**Marluxia:** And don't forget, I just can't wait to Floss (to the tune of I can't wait to be king)

**Namine:** I'm gonna floss my shiny teeth, so cavities beware

**Axel:** Well I don't even brush my teeth so why should I even care

**Namine:** I think you should really try it out, or your teeth are gonna fall out. Try brushing up and brushing down and workin' on that plaque.

**Axel:** I guess that could be a good thing

**Namine:** Oh I just can't wait to floss my teeth. Now everybody brush left, everybody brush right, everywhere you brush your teeth will shine.

**Axel:** Is that right?

**Namine + Axel:** Let everybody brush and floss their teeth. It's gonna be a fine display of dental hygiene.

**Namine:** Oh I just can't wait to floss my teeth

**Axel:** Oh I just can't wait to floss my teeth

**Namine: **Oh I just can't wait!

**Namine + Axel:** To floss my teeth!

**Marluxia:** So if you want other classics, such as my shiny teeth and me; don't wait order now

**Swirly:** Very nice, the next game involves props; Larxene and Axel here's you prop (hands them cones) and Marluxia and Namine here are yours (hands them Horse shoe shaped objects)

**Larxene:** (hold the cone upside down and spins around with it) Axel help I'm stuck in a whirl pool

**Namine:** (holding the horse shoe above her head) do you like my new do?

**Larxene:** what're you supposed to be?

**Axel:** (has the cones on his head) A horny beast

**Marluxia:** (playing it like a harp) the hills are alive with the sound of music

**Larxene:** (holding the cone on her forehead)

**Axel:** Tis the mythical unicorn

**Namine:** (holding it sideways) Hunny I told you to put the seat down after you go.

**Larxene:** (standing on the cones)

**Axel:** That's the 12th pait of heels you've bought this week

**Marluxia:** (badly tap dancing)

**Namine:** (uses the prop as a hook to pull him off)

**Swirly:** Let's end this game with the Alphabet game starting with the letter C you guys are standing in line for hot dogs at the superbowl.

**Namine:** Can you believe how long this line is?

**Larxene**: Dammit I'm hungry

**Axel:** Eleven, it's been only 11 minutes since we got here.

**Marluxia:** F that's all, it feels like it's been longer.

**Namine:** Gee I wish this line would move

**Axel:** Hungry, I'm so hungry

**Larxene:** I'm getting impatient.

**Marluxia:** Just wait a few more minutes would you?

**Larxene:** Kids! Did you see those kids just cut in line?

**Namine**: Like oh my god who do they think they are?

**Axel:** Man kids these days.

**Marluxia:** No respect whatsoever.

**Namine:** Oh look the line moved up a little bit.

**Larxene:** Please get off my foot Axel!

**Axel:** Quit nagging me, it's not my fault it's so crowded here.

**Namine:** Really guy's now's not the time for arguing.

**Marluxia:** So who do you thinks gonna win?

**Axel:** The patriots of course.

**Larxene:** Unbelievable, they're behind by 5 touchdowns.

**Axel:** Very soon they'll make a come back, just wait and see.

**Marluxia:** Wouldn't it be easier if you just ordered a pizza, since this line's taking forever to move?

**Larxene:** Xenon's Pizzeria has free delivery.

**Namine:** You're right.

**Axel:** Zoinks, look over there it's a guy in a Scooby doo Costume!

**Marluxia:** At last it's our turn to order.

**Larxene:** 'Bout time

**Swirly:** Nice job everyone, next time Kairi, Ansem, Cloud, and Sephiroth.


	3. Episode 3

**Episode 3**

**Swirly:** Welcome to Whose Line is it; today we actually have a studio audience please welcome, Organization XIII.

(Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Laxaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas all wave to the camera)

**Swirly:** Now let's meet our not as important contestants; give it up for the lady in pink, Kairi.

**Kairi:** (waves)

**Swirly**: next we have a servant of the world, Diz.

**Diz:** That's Ansem the wise

**Swirly:** Right the mummy man wearing the dress. Next we have the one winged angel, Sephiroth

**Sephiroth:** (doesn't smile or wave)

**Swirly**: Last but not least, our emo hero of FFVII, Cloud.

**Cloud**: emo?

**Swirly:** Our first game is Weird Newscasters; Diz you are the news anchor. Kairi you're his stereotypical cheerleading co-anchor. Cloud will do sports, as an opera singer. Sephiroth you'll be our weatherman who is also Barney. Now go to it.

**Diz:** Welcome to our evening news broadcast, tonight's top story; There is a giant whale swimming around space eating small gummi ships that cross it's path; pilots are advised to proceed with extreme caution.

**Kairi:** And in like other news I'm dying my hair; give me a G give me an R give me an E give me another E now give me an N, put it all together and what does that spell?

**Organization XIII:** Green!

**Kairi:** That's like totally right, I'm dying my hair green.

**Diz:** Let's move on to sports with Cloud.

**Cloud:** (singing in opera style) Today in Women's boxing; Tifa crushed the competition and has moved onto the semifinals. Sheeeee wassss sooo hoooot when sheee whipped that sweat off of her browowowowow. (normal speaking) now here's Sephiroth with the weather.

**Sephiroth:** (rolls his eyes) hey hey hey there kids, it's time fer the weather uheheh uhehe ueheh. Today's weather is sunny; now what song should we sing to end our show? I know the one, oh mr sun sun, mr golden sun please shine down on me.

**Organization XIII: **O.o

**Swirly:** I'm going to give Seph 2000 pts for that, ok next game, helping hands; Cloud and Sephiroth you come down here and Seph's going to be Clouds hands, now we're going to need a volunteer from the audience.

**Demyx:** ohh ohh pick me pick me!

**Swirly:** Alright then Demyx, come on down!

**Cloud:** Since when was this the price is right?

**Swirly:** Ok Cloud and Demyx you guys are best friends and you're having one of those male bonding trip, audience what's something guys do to bond?

**Zexion:** Fishing

**Xigbar:** Shooting

**Laxaeus:** Hunting

**Roxas:** Camping

**Swirly:** Alright camping it is, you guys are on a camping trip and your sitting in front of a fire, take it away Demyx.

**Demyx:** Hey Cloud, thanks for bringing me along on your camping trip, umm there's a mosquito on your nose.

**Cloud:** really where?

**Sephiroth:** (slaps Cloud on his nose)

**Cloud:** Did I get it?

**Sephiroth:** (does the YMCA)

**Demyx:** You got it

**Sephiroth:** (holds up a peace sign)

**Cloud:** good

**Demyx:** Hey Cloud let's make smores!

**Sephiroth:** (reaching for the marshmallows)

**Cloud:** Sound good to me

**Sephiroth:** (roasting the marshmallows, grabs a gram cracker with his other hand)

**Cloud:** Demyx could you put some chocolate on my cracker?

**Demyx:** Sure (puts chocolate on the cracker)

**Sephiroth:** (puts the marshmallow on the cracker and tops it off with a cracker, then breaks it in half and hands half to Demyx)

**Cloud:** Here you go Demyx

**Demyx:** (takes it) thanks man

**Cloud:** wow this sure does look good

**Sephiroth:** (squashes it in Cloud's face)

**Swirly:** thank you Demyx you can go back to your seat now; ok last game; umm Cloud do you need a towel or something? I think it's in your hair too.

**Cloud:** I'll be fine, damn you Sephiroth.

**Swirly:** Ok last game is the suggestion hat, before the show we asked the audience to write down some funny stuff to ask and put the best ones in this hat. Ok first one, what would your last words to be?

**Cloud:** JESUS!

**Organization XIII: **(laughs)

**Swirly:** Next one; worst thing to say when she says I love you

**Diz:** Sorry, but my career comes first

**Sephiroth:** That's all you have to say?

**Cloud:** Good, now make me a sandwich

**Organization XIII: **(laughs)

**Swirly:** Worst thing to say to your inlaws

**Sephiroth:** Are those your faces or just really ugly masks?

**Kairi:** your son's no good in bed

**Organization XIII: **(laughs)

**Swirly:** Last one, worst reason to want to take over the world.

**Diz:** Because my prom date ditched me and I want to get back at her

**Cloud:** Because I just feel like it

**Kairi:** Because I'm a bitch when I PMS

**Swirly:** Beautiful see you all next time


	4. Episode 4

**Episode 4**

**Swirly:** Welcome to Whose Line is it, I'm getting tired of saying this intro so everyone say hello to our audience; Organization XIII. And to our contestants; the girl who's pretty mean with a jump rope, Selphie.

**Selphie:** (waves) Hi there people.

**Swirly:** Mr. Jamaican man; Wakka.

**Wakka:** Hey what's happening man?

**Swirly:** Leader of the Destiny Island threesome; Tidus.

**Tidus:** (Waves)

**Swirly:** And the one who kicks all their butts; Riku.

**Riku:** Why am I back here?

**Swirly:** Cause fangirls wuv you.

**Riku:** That explains it.

**Swirly: **First game is Superheroes, we need a world crisis, someone in the audience wanna help me out?

**Axel:** Forrest fires

**Demyx:** Flooding

**Vexen:** Some one stole Reese's Pieces.

**Swirly:** OK we'll go with that; no how about a name for Tidus?

**Xigbar:** Pole Dancer man

**Swirly:** Works for me, let's start.

**Tidus:** (dancing on an invisible pole)

**Wakka:** Pole dancing man have you heard?

**Tidus:** What's that, Like-What-Ever Girl Man? (Still Dancing)

**Wakka:** Like oh my god some one stole Reese's Pieces!

**Tidus:** Then we should call, Captain Question man.

**Riku:** (jumps in) what seems to be the trouble?

**Tidus:** Some one stole Reese's Pieces!

**Riku:** What should we do?

**Wakka:** Like I don't know, and umm like yeah, now what?

**Selphie:** Leave everything to me!

**Riku:** Who are you?

**Wakka:** Like oh my God it's umm umm I like totally forgot.

**Riku:** Wait a minute, aren't you Monkey Girl?

**Selphie:** Yes I am (makings monkey sounds)

**Tidus:** So what are we going to do about Reese's Pieces?

**Riku:** Shouldn't we find the culprit and kick his ass?

**Selphie**: That sounds like a good plan (scratches herself like a monkey would)

**Wakka:** I can totally dig that

**Riku:** Then what are we waiting for?

**Selphie:** Let's go get him (swings on a vine off set)

**Swirly**: k you each get 500 points, which don't matter just like the price tags at a dollar store. Next game is Let's make a Date; Selphie you will be ale to ask our three bachelors any questions you'd like to, except who they're pretending to be of coarse.

**Selphie:** Bachelor number 1; what are your hobbies?

**Riku**: (Vampire) I like long strolls under the moonlight, umm manipulating people, and sucking blood.

**Selphie:** o…k then, how about bachelor number 2; what kind of music do you like?

**Tidus:** (Loves himself) I don't listen to music that much to be honest, but I do love the sound of my own voice. I have such a great singing voice you know.

**Selphie:** Right, and bachelor number 3; What do you do for fun?

**Wakka:** (speaks his own language) I dabbi too daba be hagi ren jora ya man beep bleep bleep.

**Selphie:** K, Bachelor number 2, what do you like to do before a date?

**Tidus:** I like to look at myself in the mirror because I am a sexy bitch.

**Selphie:** How about you number 3?

**Riku:** (Behind Wakka, attempting to bite his neck)

**Wakka:** (trying not to get bitten by Riku) aga no wakka wa shin gi no uta wa acktun!

**Selphie:** r…ight

**Swirly:** K Selphie can you guess who they are?

**Selphie:** Riku's a vampire; umm Tidus is the perfect man.

**Tidus:** Nope, I'm in love with myself

**Selphie:** And Wakka's some European guy?

**Wakka:** Nope, I was speaking my own language.

**Selphie:** Sounded like German to me.

**Swirly:** (laughs) K then let's end our show with a song. Selphie you can sit this one out and the guys will be singing as a Motown Group. What should they sing about?

**Larxene:** Graffiti

**Zexion:** Frogs

**Marluxia:** Candy Buttons!

**Swirly:** K then take it away; Riku has lead, Tidus and Wakka are backup

**Tidus + Wakka:** doo wap shooby doo wap wap (repeat)

**Riku:** Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah candy buttons are so sweet, they're my kind of treat. They taste so good and sweat they're a treat that can't be beat.

**Tidus + Wakka:** wap wap wap shoo wap wap (repeat)

**Riku:** Candy buttons make me smile in fact it's been a while since I've had the pleasure of their taste if I don't eat one soon I'll go to waste.

**Tidus + Wakka:** Candy boowap candy boowap wap (repeat)

**Riku:** Candy Buttons are so great oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!


	5. Episode 5

**Episode 5**

**Swirly:** Welcome to Whose Line is it; please welcome Twilight Town's local attitude problem, Hayner.

**Hayner:** 'sup?

**Swirly:** The guy who looks like a clone one of my best friends; Pence

**Pence:** Hi there

**Swirly:** The girl who look like a clone of me; Olette

**Olette:** Hi there

**Swirly:** And the most kawaii KH character ever; Roxas

**Roxas:** kawaii?

**Swirly:** Tonight's audience is the Hallow—oh sorry, Radiant Garden restoration committee.

**Roxas:** Why didn't the Organization come?

**Swirly:** Something about Xemnas and a surprise home make-over. Oh yeah and Axel's going to pimp his ride. Aren't you glad you asked?

**Roxas:** Kinda, now I wanna know how Axel's going to 'Pimp' a flying dragon-like thingy.

**Swirly:** (shrugs) Our first game of the night is, superheroes. I need a volunteer from the audience

**Sora**: Oh pick me pick me!

**Swirly:** Ok Sora, now Pence you are the Amazing milk man and with your superhero friends you will defeat your arch-nemesis; crybaby man.

**Pence:** calling all superheroes; we have a crisis, I repeat we have a crisis.

**Olette:** What's the problem?

**Pence:** Oh I'm so glad you're here Ms. Elastic hair tie girl

**Olette:** Oh look here comes Italian Gangster Man!

**Hayner:** What seems to be the trouble here?

**Olette:** wait I see another hero on his way

**Hayner:** it's the amazing bed-wetter boy

**Roxas:** sorry I'm late, I had an accident…

**Pence:** We have to go stop cry-baby man

**Sora:** (evilly laughing) I will rule the world, muhaa muhaaahaaa muhaaahaaa

**Pence:** Not so fast crybaby man, we're here to stop you!

**Sora:** Oh no it's milk man and his superhero friends!

**Hayner:** Were going to make you pay see, yeah see

**Olette:** Prepare to meet my elastic hair tie of doom (throws hair ties at Sora)

**Sora:** Oww stop it that stings, ouch, you got me in the eye, you &&# that hurts (tears form in his eyes)

**Roxas:** Milk man, finish him off.

**Pence:** (throws milk at Sora)

**Sora:** (starts bawling) you super heroes are sooooo mean, whaaaa whaaaa

**Swirly:** 50 points to Olette and Pence because Roxas and Hayner did absolutely nothing. Wow Sora, I never thought you could pull off being a bad guy (hands Sora a towel)

**Sora:** (takes the towel and goes back to his seat)

**Swirly:** Next game is let's make a date Olette will be asking the questions; Hayner, Pence, and Roxas will be our bachelors

**Olette:** Hey bachelor number 1, what's up?

**Hayner:** (is the witch from the chronicles of Narnia) Not much, what about you, daughter of Eve?

**Olette:** Not much really, what do you do for fun?

**Hayner:** I don't have fun

**Olette:** Oh, well what if you and I were to go out on a date what would we do?

**Hayner:** I'd kill you to prevent the prophecy from becoming real

**Olette**: R…ight, bachelor number 2, what are your hobbies

**Pence:** (Elvis) Just singing the worlds of my soul baby.

**Olette:** Could you sing something for me now?

**Pence:** Oh you know a wanna dolly, but there's just not enough time now babe.

**Olette:** How about later?

**Pence:** Oh yes my fine lady

**Olette:** Bachelor number 3, what's your favorite food?

**Roxas:** (Bart Simpson) Butterfinger Bars

**Olette:** Do you like school?

**Roxas**: I like throwing stuff at my teachers

**Olette:** Anything else you'd like to say to me?

**Roxas:** Eat my shorts.

**Olette:** ok, now is Hayner a priest?

**Swirly:** No he's the witch from Narnia; you couldn't tell just from his hair style?

**Hayner:** hey!

**Olette:** Pence is a singer

**Swirly:** Which singer?

**Olette:** A country singer?

**Pence:** Elvis actually

**Olette:** Ok and Roxas was… umm Bart Simpson

**Roxas:** You got it

**Swirly:** We're going to end our show with a song; Roxas and Olette will be singing the theme for a new soap opera while Pence and Hayner act out the opening credits; anyone got any ideas for a title?

**Aerith:** The Drama Club!

**Swirly:** K the Drama Club, take it away.

**Olette:** Coming this August to Soap Net, it's The Drama Club

**Roxas:** (to the tune of I will from FMA) He was just a slob, just a dirty pig, doing absolutely nothing

**Pence:** (doing absolutely nothing)

**Roxas:** She was just a bad girl,

**Hayner:** (pretending to show his 'breasts' to the audience)

**Roxas:** Then the two met, and then at first it was just chaos,

**Hayner + Pence**: (Evil smiles)

**Olette:** Drama… Club… Drama… Club…

**Roxas:** So then they got the leading roles, for their big play,

**Pence:** (holding a skull and talking to it)

**Roxas:** And with a little time, the two of them would behave

**Roxas + Olette:** In the Drama Club, In the Drama club, she would make him divine, in the drama club in the drama club, she would be no o swine. Just give it a little time, then the best will be brought out of the two of them

**Hayner + Pence:** (dancing together)

**Olette:** Drama Club

**Swirly's note: Ok I swear to god Olette looks like me. Same color hair and eyes, not only that but the exact same hair length and style O.O Not only that, but we both have to nag our friends to do their homework. Some one from square soft must be spying on me . (I must sound paranoid)**


	6. Episode 6

**Episode 6**

**Swirly:** Welcome to Whose line is it, our audience is packed tonight and naming everyone would be a waste of time. Anyways tonight's guests are Donald, Goofy, Auron, and Jack Sparrow

**Jack:** ahhem

**Swirly:** Do you need some water?

**Jack:** No love, but for future reference it's **Captain** Jack Sparrow

**Auron:** There's no way in hell I'm calling you captain

**Jack**: sorry I'm afraid you'll have to speak up next time seeing as I couldn't hear you, saavy?

**Auron:** hmph

**Swirly:** ok then, first game; Sound effects. Donald and Auron will be acting out a scene Jack will do sounds for Donald and Goofy will do sounds for Auron. Someone in the audience come up with a scenario.

**Vexen:** check up at the doctors

**Laxeaus**: Wouldn't it be the vet?

**Hades:** How about a voodoo doll?

**Swirly:** Alright, Donald has a voodoo doll of Auron; why I'm I getting a feeling of déjà vu?

**Goofy**: Probably because that happened, ahhuck

**Swirly:** oh yeah, sorry Auron I forgot

**Auron:** You should be sorry

**Swirly:** Well you're still doing the scene so take it away.

**Auron:** Damn that girl…

**Donald:** At last I have the doll that will lead to Auron's demise (hold up the doll and squeezes it)

**Jack:** squish squish

**Donald:** hehehe (starts tickling the doll)

**Goofy:** (does the classic Goofy laugh)

**Auron:** For your information I am not ticklish

**Goofy:** (stops) oh, well can't ya at least pretend to be?

**Auron:** (cold stare)

**Goofy:** guess not then…

**Donald:** (jabs an invisible needle into the doll)

**Jack:** (makes a raspberry sound while the needle goes in)

**Auron:** heh, tis only a flesh wound

**Swirly:** coughripoffcough

**Auron:** (glares)

**Swirly:** _note to self, don't invite Jack or Auron again unless they are drugged and on shock leashes, hey wait a sec!_ I'm going to call an end to this scene; it's just not going anywhere ya know? Now Jack and Auron won so I'd like then to come over here, our next game will be props. Now I nee you two to wear these (hands them shock collars)

**Jack:** and what are we supposed to do with these?

**Swirly:** Wear them

**Jack:** sounds simple enough (puts it on)

**Swirly:** What about you Auron?

**Auron:** I'll pass; the one you gave me is pink

**Swirly:** You could bitch about anything couldn't you?

**Auron:** Do you want me to answer that? (puts hand on sword)

**Swirly:** no thanks, give me a minute (looking through desk)

**Jack:** Why do you have to be so difficult?

**Auron:** I'm not

**Jack:** Yes you are

**Auron:** You want to fight me?

**Jack**: Oh it'd be your honor

**Swirly:** ah ha! (Sprays Auron with pepper spray) always knew that'd come in handy

**Auron:** I can't see!

**Swirly:** (snaps the collar on Auron) there, now go back to your seats

**Jack:** What about the game?

**Swirly:** That was a bluff; now go back to your seats

**Jack:** What if I don't want to?

**Swirly:** ughh even Sephiroth was more cooperative than you two! (Presses the shock button) now go to your seats!

**Jack + Auron:** (go to their seats)

**Swirly: **In our next game Donald and Goofy will be acting out a foreign romance film and Jack and Auron will translate what they're saying; any ideas for a country?

**Will:** France

**Swirly**: ok France, how about a title?

**Elizabeth:** Romeo and Escargot

**Swirly:** it works

**Donald:** Romeo tu es tres degoutant! Prendre une douche!

**Auron:** Romeo you are disgusting, take a shower

**Goofy**: Je travaille toute la journée pour faire une certaine somme d'argent pour mettre le pain sur la table. Et tout que vous devez dire est prise par douche.

**Jack:** I work all day to make money to put bread on the table; and all you say to me is take a shower?

**Donald:** Je suis désolé; Il est juste que vous sentiez très le mauvais

**Auron:** I'm sorry, you just smell really bad.

**Goofy:** Qu'attendez-vous d'un mineur ?

**Jack:** What do you expect from a coal miner?

**Donald:** (gets closer to Goofy) m'embrasser chéri

**Auron:** Kiss me darling

**Goofy:** (turns away) Escargot là est quelque chose que je dois vous dire

**Jack:** Escargot there's something I need to tell you

**Donald:** est quel il ce qui est faux ?

**Auron:** What is it, what's wrong?

**Goofy:** J'avais eu une affaire avec votre soeur pour les cinq mois derniers

**Jack:** I've been having an affair with your sister for the past five months

**Donald:** (gasps then slaps Goofy across the face) Tu es un garcon salope!

**Auron:** You are a man whore

**Swirly:** (laughs) that was touching; last game is Questions only

**Jack**: May I make a suggestion for the topic?

**Swirly:** go right ahead

**Jack:** let's make it about you

**Swirly:** me?

**Jack:** yes you

**Swirly:** Sure why not this will be weird Jack and Auron you guys start; oh and feel free to take the collars off

**Auron:** Can you believe she made me wear a pink collar?

**Jack:** Who?

**Auron:** Who do you think?

**Jack:** Oh do you mean her?

**Auron:** What do you think?

**Jack:** Do you think she's really a girl?

**Auron**: What do you mean?

**Jack:** Well isn't it possible that she's half girl half shark?

**Auron:** Are you stupid?

**Jack:** Well haven't you seen the little mermaid?

**Auron:** She was part shark; what version were you watching?

**Jack:** But seriously, what do you think?

**Auron:** I think you're a compleate moron

**Jack:** Now I'm going to have to slit your throat (draws his sword)

**Auron:** (grabs his and the two go at it)

**Swirly: (**sighs) Next time we'll have Sora and Riku join Donald and Goofy. Se you then!

**Ok people just so you know Donald and Goofy were speaking actual French (most of it was me, but some of it was from an online dictionary so it might not be accurate) I had a very busy weekend which is why my update took a little longer than usual. Friday I saw pirates2, it was good. Saturday I wasn't home all day, and Sunday I had a music competition. I thought that if Jack met Auron the two of them would probably fight and if I were there, I'd probably get annoyed and start fighting with them too; hence the idea for this chapter came up.**


	7. Episode 7

**Episode 7**

**Swirly:** Welcome to Whose Line is it; I already mentioned who our guests tonight were on the last episode so if you didn't read it then that's too bad for you. Our first game is Sound effects; Sora and Riku will act out a scene and Donald and Goofy will make the sounds. Any suggestions?

**Roxas:** Have them be in the Station of Serenity (_I think that's what it's called_)

**Swirly:** Ok that should be good

**Sora:** Riku, where are we?

**Riku:** Well if you look at the floating subtitles I think that'll give us a clue

**Swirly:** The door is still shut; take your time don't be afraid. Now step forward can you do it?

**Donald + Goofy**: (make squishy sounds as Riku and Sora walk)

**Sora:** I think we're walking in some kind of Gackt

**Gackt:** (pops up)

**Riku:** That was random

**Swirly:** Ohmygosh its Gackt! Hi Gackt come sit next to me; you can co-host tonight!

**Gackt:** domo (sits)

**Swirly:** Ok guys continue the skit

**Riku:** Hey look a door just popped up

**Sora:** Let's go open it (the two push an invisible door)

**Donald + Goofy:** (make grunting noises)

**Sora:** man this thing just won't open

**Riku:** Sora, look a crate just popped up

**Sora:** (generates the keyblade) you know breaking this crate always seemed irrelevant to the rest of the game; I mean it's not like you can push and smash the heartless. (Whacks the crate)

**Donald:** (makes squeaky sounds each time the keyblade hits the crate)

**Sora:** Finally it broke; oh look a treasure chest, Riku you can open it

**Riku:** Oh goody! (Taps it with his keyblade)

**Goofy:** ping ping

**Riku:** I got a potion

**Sora:** Ok I think we can open the door now

**Riku:** Hey Sora

**Sora:** What?

**Riku**: If we have **KEY**blades, then why do we have to break crates and open chests just to get the frikken door to open?

**Sora:** Beats me

**Swirly:** 200 pts to Riku for saying what've I've been thinking since the first game came out. Our next game is let's make a date; Sora, Riku, and Gackt will be in this one, I'm asking the questions. SO bachelor number one; what're your hobbies?

**Sora:** (hard core anime-fanatic) umm I sit at home and watch anime and read mangas and collect the merchandise. A also like to stare at Yaone's ummm pretty face.

**Swirly:** Bachelor number 2, same question.

**Riku:** (Goth kid) I like to sit in the dark all alone, and sometimes at night I go out and kill cows (evil laugh)

**Swirly:** uhhh o…kay, Bachelor number 3; how about you?

**Gackt:** (foreign pop star) 私は歌うのを好む I like to sing

**Swirly:** Bachelor number one; what's your idea of the perfect date?

**Sora:** Umm I dunno, take her to a con I guess

**Swirly:** ooh I like him; number 2 same thing

**Riku:** Watch some horror film where everyone dies

**Swirly:** and number 3?

**Gackt:** 最初に私達は食事をする素晴らしい行く、そして私達は踊ることを行きそれから私は彼女にセレナーデを演奏するFirst we go have nice dinner, then we go dancing, and then I will serenade her

**Swirly:** aww that is so sweet

**Donald:** You mean you can understand him?

**Swirly:** Bits and pieces ; ok Sora; you're obviously an otaku, Riku's some goth kid, and Gackt is himself.

**Sora:** How'd you know?

**Swirly:** Simple, I'm writing the script

**Riku:** Isn't that cheating?

**Swirly:** Not really for one it's my show, and for another you guys were obvious; instead of points I'm giving you all Honey lollypops -

**Sora:** yay!

**Riku:** yummy

**Gackt:** Arigatou gozaimasu

**Swirly:** Last game is for all of us; the infamous suggestion hat, first question, worst thing to say to your blind date

**Sora:** you sure you don't want to stay home; you know where no one can see you?

**Riku:** Next to me you don't look half bad

**Goofy:** hahahahahahahahaahaha

**Donald:** You wanna pick up the bill?

**Swirly:** Worst pick-up line

**Riku:** Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?

**Swirly:** Heaven must be missing an angel if you're here with me

**Goofy:** Gosh yer perty, uhuck

**Swirly:** Movies that were sellouts

**Donald:** Hello there kiddies, and welcome to the never ending sing-along! This is the song that doesn't end; yes it goes on and on my friend…

**Riku:** I'm king of the world!

**Sora:** Coming in 2007; Transformers the movie!

**Swirly:** that trailer was horrible, heh. Last one; things you'd probably hear in an AkuRoku fic…

**Riku:** I love you!

**Sora:** Oh my God I can't believe I'm gay! Or at least half of me is…

**Swirly:** Next time we'll have the Hallow Bastion restoration committee, till then see ya

**For those of you who don't know who Yaone is, she's a character from Saiyuki who has enormous breasts. **


	8. Episode 8

**Whose Line is it?**

**Episode 8**

**Swirly:** Hi there, I know I said that we'd have the hallow bastion restoration committee tonight, but due to some problem's in Tron's world, they couldn't be here. And we only could book two people for tonight's show, so here's Cloud; who's currently having an emo day

**Cloud:** my life was a lie!

**Swirly:** r…ight, and Tifa

**Tifa:** (waves)

**Swrily:** well since we only have you two, I guess I'll have to invite some of my OCs for the show. Please welcome, from Attashi no Samurai, Khris

**Khris:** (waves)

**Swirly:** and also from Attashi no samurai, Link aka Fireball

**Fireball:** what's up?

**Swirly:** The reason I'm doing this is to promote ANS, please read it, the third chapter is the actual story. Ok first game of the night is Props, Cloud and Tifa this is your prop (hands them a plank) and Khris and Fireball this is yours (hands them a giant plastic bubble) begin

**Cloud:** (holding the plank) Hey plank, let's go bug the Eds

**Fireball:** (inside the bubble banging the walls)

**Khris:** Look, a mime stuck in an invisible bubble

**Tifa:** (slapping the plank on her hand) Cloud, you've been a very bad boy

**Cloud:** (is bent over like he's going to be spanked)

**Fireball:** (running inside the ball)

**Khris:** That's a good hamster, Fluffy

**Tifa:** (sitting on the plank like it were a swing) push me Cloud

**Khris:** (holding the bubble) I've got the whole world in my hands

**Swirly:** Very good Tifa gets 50 pts for spanking Cloud, next game; Greatest hits, Khris and Fireball will try to sell an album of Gackt's greatest hits translated, and Cloud and Tifa will sing the words. (Disclaimer: I don't own gackt)

Khris: We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming so we can sell you something

**Fireball:** Gackt's greatest hits translated; say sis, what Gackt song is your favorite?

**Khris:** I'd have to say… Memories

**Fireball:** Well wait until you hear the translation…

**Tifa:** In the middle of the night, while you shine with the vanishing moonlight

I'll never wake from this dream while you hold my arm

You smiled softly, even though you knew

The promise we made can never be fulfilled

**Cloud:** Until my voice reaches you, I'll be here beside you

**Tifa:** You stretched out your hands to the night sky and stared at the moon in your palms

You're so beautiful when you're sleeping quietly

**Cloud:** I'm embracing your whole body, pulling your face close, and I won't let go

So please don't cry, I'll always be with you until the night brightens

Always...even if this world rots away

Always...

**Tifa:** I still can't laugh, even now

But, I will keep our promise, without fail

**Cloud:** You continue to live in my heart

Because I won't let you go

Please don't cry, and never lose your way

Keep walking...always...

Even if this world rots away

We will surely meet again

Until the someday when we can be reunited

**Cloud + Tifa:** Even if this world rots away

Even if this world rots away

Even if this world rots away

**Khris:** That was beautiful, and slightly emo

**Swirly:** That could be Cloud's new theme song, well sorry that this episode was so short but I'll make up for it tomorrow, I promise -


	9. Episode 9

**Episode 9**

**Swirly:** Welcome to another whacky episode; tonight's guests are, Squall…

**Leon:** It's LEON.

**Swirly:** But Squall sounds so much rugged and sexier!

**Leon:** And how's that?

**Swirly:** Well Squall means 'storm' and it just sounds cool ok?

**Leon:** (shrugs) Sure

**Swirly:** Anyways moving on, next up we have the great ninja, Yuffie.

**Yuffie:** Hi there!

**Swirly:** And the sweet and lovely flower girl; Aerith.

**Aerith:** Hello there.

**Swirly:** And that crazy old machine junkie; Cid.

**Cid:** Who're you callin' a junkie?

**Swirly:** No one… first game superheroes, someone in the audience give me a crisis.

**Demyx:** Flooding!

**Roxas:** Tornados!

**Axel:** We're out of spam!

**Swirly:** Sounds good to me; take it away.

**Leon:** (gasps)

**Yuffie:** What is it rap man?

**Leon:** Yo Yo we out of spam, Dog girl.

**Yuffie:** woof! Oh my gosh!

**Aerith:** What is it?

**Leon:** Hey wuz up tutu-girl?

**Yuffie:** ruff! We're out of spam!

**Aerith:** Oh no that's terrible, oh look here comes Peanut man!

**Cid:** What seems to be the problem?

**Aerith:** We're out of spam!

**Cid:** That's not so bad, we could just eat my nuts until we get some more.

**Swirly:** (trying not to laugh)

**Leon:** Yo why don't we just go to da supa market and buy some more?

**Yuffie:** Ruff that sounds good ruff!

**Aerith:** What are we waiting for? (Twirls like a ballerina) let's go

**Swirly:** Cid gets 20 points and everyone else gets 10.

**Cid:** What was so funny?

**Swirly:** "We could just eat my nuts"

**Cid:** I was **peanut man,** you're sick.

**Swirly:** Hey normally I'm not like that but something about the tone of your voice just made it funny.

**Yuffie:** She's right.

**Swirly:** See even Yuffie backs me up; next game questions only. Let's see, how about dinner on valentines day. Let's start with Leon and Aerith.

**Leon:** So How's your food?

**Aerith:** What?

**Leon:** What's wrong?

**Aerith:** Don't you think Cloud would get upset if he saw us here?

**Leon:** Would he?

**Aerith:** Well what do you think?

**Cloud:** (in the audience) I'd kick your ass Leon!

**Leon:** Does that answer your question? (Yells to Cloud) No Tifa would kick yours first!

**Cloud:** This is true…

**Aerith:** Hi Cloud. (Is buzzed out and Yuffie comes in)

**Leon:** Who are you?

**Yuffie**: Who do you think I am?

**Leon:** Where'd Aerith go?

**Yuffie:** Does that really matter?

**Leon:** Are you my new date?

**Yuffie:** I might be (Yuffie is now replaced by Cid)

**Leon:** What are you doing here?

**Cid:** I'm your date, or did you forget?

**Leon:** Since when were you my date!

**Cid:** Since when were you so fussy?

**Leon:** What's that supposed to mean?

**Cid:** Are you done asking questions yet?

**Swirly:** Very nice; 50 points for Leon and 20 for everyone else. That means Leon's the winner. So our last game is suggestion hat, only we lost the hat so I'm going to ask random members of our audience for suggestions. Let's start with you.

**Tifa:** Worst thing your date can say to you.

**Leon:** I thought you'd be cuter…

**Yuffie:** You know I look really good when I'm standing next to you.

**Aerith:** You smell

**Cid:** Were you born stupid, or did you just grow that way?

**Swirly:** How about you?

**Riku:** Shows that never made it to Broadway.

**Yuffie**: Hi there for the next hour you'll get to see me do this (starts doing the creepy 'fairy god parents' thing)

**Cid:** This is a show about nothing, so how do we know when it's over?

**Aerith:** This is the song that doesn't end; yes it goes on and on my friends…

**Swirly**: Is that second reference we've made to that song? Anyways moving on…

**Zexion:** Video games that never sold…

**Cid:** Murder Death Kill Revolution!

**Aerith:** Let's count coconuts! Rated E for Everyone.

**Yuffie**: It's a small world after all.

**Leon:** Swirly's fife and drum adventure!

**Swirly:** Hey, Fifing is fun!

**Yuffie:** What's a fife?

**Swirly:** Look it up on Wikipedia, I gotta go write some more fics now; later!


	10. Episode 10

**Episode 10**

**Swirly: **Hey there everyone, I'm back from Disney world and have to admit I have but one complaint… THEY HAVE ABSOLUTLY NO KINGDOM HEARTS MERCHANDISE!

**Sora:** Are you serious?

**Swirly:** Sadly yes; even in Epcot, there wasn't anything. But they did have some anime plushies, I almost got a Naruto but he was overpriced so I got Mustang. And then there were fruits basket plushies, but they didn't have Momiji so I didn't buy one…

**Xemnas:** Can we just get on with the show?

**Swirly:** Oh right our contestants are; Number one, Xemnas.

**Xemnas:** DARKNESS WILL CONQUER ALL WORLDS!

**Swirly:** O.o And umm Number two the free shooter; Xigbar.

**Xigbar:** S'up.

**Swirly:** Number three, the whirlwind lancer; Xaldin.

**Xaldin:** (waves)

**Swirly:** And last but not least, number four the chilly academic; Vexen.

**Vexen**: (sits and does nothing)

**Swirly:** Tonight's first game will be sound effects. Sora why don't you think up a scenario?

**Xaldin:** Wait a minute.

**Swirly:** Is something wrong?

**Xaldin:** I don't trust him.

**Swirly:** Too bad, got any ideas?

**Sora:** Ok here's one, Vexen is visiting the zoo's newest addition; Xaldin the monkey.

**Xaldin:** You do realize I hate you.

**Sora:** Oh I'm so scared.

**Swirly:** And they said you couldn't be sarcastic when you're typing; alright the superior will do sounds for Xaldin, and Xigbar will do them for Vexen.

**Vexen:** Oh look a monkey. (Points)

**Xemnas:** bong

**Xaldin:** (scratches himself like a monkey)

**Xigbar:** (makes squeaking sounds)

**Vexen**: He sure is one ugly fella

**Xaldin**: Say what!

**Xigbar:** (makes chimp sounds)

**Xaldin:** That's it I quit! (Stomps off stage)

**Swirly:** Did we just lose a contestant?

**Vexen:** It would certainly appear that way.

**Swirly:** I guess I have no choice; I'll have to fill in. Our next game is foreign film.

**Diz:** Do a Canadian film!

**Swirly:** Ok let's all do a Canadian film, anyone got a title?

**Namine:** Where's the Maple syrup?

**Swirly:** I'll take that one, let's begin.

**Xemnas:** Eh, Xigbar.

**Xigbar**: Did ye jus say somti'n?

**Xemnas:** Yesh, where be me maple syrup?

**Xigbar:** Like I don' know, ask Vexen.

**Vexen:** Did ye jus' call?

**Xemnas:** Where be me maple syrup?

**Swirly:** Ye mean ye lost it again. What am I going to do with ye people?

**Xemnas:** Did ye go an hide me syrup?

**Swirly:** Why would I be go an doing that?

**Xemnas:** What be that dare?

**Swirly:** What ye talkin' about?

**Xemnas:** It be behind yer back!

**Swirly:** If ye want it, ye'll have ta catch me. (Runs)

**Xemnas:** (Pulls out aerial blades and chases)

**Vexen:** Our next game will be, Suggestion hat. Send in your requests by reviewing. We need at least 10 questions to continue and you may review more than once. Until next time…

**Xigbar:** I think the boss is taking this game a little too seriously man.

**Vexen:** Looks like we have to remind him that this is only a game…


	11. Episode 11

**Episode 11**

**Swirly:** Hey everyone, sorry I haven't updated in a while. My step brothers were over and hovering over my shoulder whenever I was on the computer and I just couldn't type with that going on. Then I had to do my summer reading assignment…

**Demyx:** What book was it?

**Swirly:** Chinese Cinderella; which was actually not bad, it only took me 5 days to reads and take notes.

**Vexen:** Then you must be a slow reader.

**Swirly:** Well I haven't finished the 6th Harry Potter book yet…

**Zexion:** So you are slow.

**Swirly:** No, it's just my friends ruined the ending so—

**Xaldin:** So you just didn't feel like reading it after that?

**Swirly:** Exactly; now onto tonight's show, first game will be Superheroes. I need someone from the audience to come up with a random silly crisis.

**Sora:** Sesame seeds were taken off the market!

**Swirly:** I'll go with that, and a superhero name for Demyx.

**Aerith**: Waterboy?

**Swirly:** Something a little more original and creative.

**Axel:** Smelly wet dog boy.

**Swirly:** I like it, start us Demyx.

**Demyx:** (walks on all fours, stops and shakes like a dog) Oh my gosh. (Holds up a burger bun) All the buns are blank!

**Xaldin:** What's wrong, wet dog boy?

**Demyx:** Oh I'm so glad you're here; Magical Lucky Charms man. How are things?

**Xaldin:** Aye they're always after me lucky charms.

**Demyx:** Well we have a crisis on our hands.

**Xaldin:** Aye what is it?

**Vexen:** What seems to be the problem?

**Xaldin:** Aye, it be; Opera singer man.

**Vexen:** (opera style) What is the problem?

**Zexion:** I heard Opera man and came running, what's going on?

**Vexen:** Oh my gosh it's Super sour puss inflatable man!

**Swirly**: (laughs)

**Zexion:** (pouts)

**Fangirls:** (faint)

**Demyx:** Getting back to the crisis; all sesame seeds have been taken off the market!

**Zexion:** Oh man that sucks (pouts and puffs his cheeks)

**Xaldin:** Eh what be a sesame anyways?

**Vexen**: It is a way to open caves.

**Demyx:** It's a street; ooo let's sing the song! Maybe we can make sesame seeds come back if we sing! Ready, a one a two a three…

**Demyx + Xaldin + Vexen + Zexion:** Sunny day's chasin' the clouds away (ext.)

**Swirly:** (hits the buzzer) All right 1000 points to everyone; except Demyx.

**Demyx:** Awww

**Swirly:** But don't worry, this next game is for just Demyx and I need two girls from the audience. Let's see… Kairi and Rikku come on down.

**Rikku:** Oh yay!

**Kairi:** We're on the price is right!

**Swirly:** No, you're on "Let's make a date." Ok here's how it works, Demyx will ask Kairi, Rikku, and myself various questions and have to figure out what or who we are; in tonight's game we'll all be afraid of something. Let's start…

**Demyx:** Bachelorette number one; what's your favorite color?

**Kairi:** (Is deathly afraid of all Disney characters) I like pink and OMG Mickey Mouse! (Hides)

**Demyx:** Bachelorette number two, what's your favorite movie?

**Rikku:** (Is afraid of germs) I like the Boy in the plastic bubble.

**Demyx:** Why?

**Rikku**: Cause, he was all safe in that bubble and he never got sick.

**Demyx:** Ok weird; Bachelorette number three; what's your favorite ice cream flavor?

**Swirly**: (Is afraid to fall asleep because Freddy Kruger is after her) Must not fall asleep, must not fall asleep… umm I like coffee, it keeps me awake.

**Demyx:** Number one, if I took you on a date to Disney world what would you do?

**Kairi:** (screams)

**Demyx:** Number two same question.

**Rikku:** Oh I can't it's just too gross do you know how many people sneeze and then touch the handles on the rides!

**Demyx:** And number three?

**Swirly:** As long as you promise you won't let me fall asleep.

**Demyx:** Does that mean we can't go on 'It's a small world?'

**Swirly**: Even if this was a real dating show there's no way in hell I'm going on that ride with you!

**Demyx:** Ouch that hurts… ok Kairi is afraid of Disney.

**Kairi:** Yes.

**Demyx:** Rikku is scared of human contact.

**Rikku:** No, germs.

**Demyx:** Close enough and Swirly is afraid to fall asleep.

**Swirly:** Yeah cause Freddy's lose.

**Demyx:** How many points do I get?

**Swirly:** 2000.

**Demyx:** Sweet!

**Swirly:** And FYI Demyx, I wouldn't go on it's a small world with any guy cause it's not even remotely romantic.

**Demyx:** oh.

**Swirly**: Anyways next game; greatest hits. Xaldin and Vexen will try to sell an album and Demyx and Zexion will sing the demo songs. Now I need someone from the audience to give me a occupation that requires a lot of working with your hands.

**Sora:** Plummer.

**Swirly:** I like it, take it away.

**Xaldin:** Hello, we will return you to desperate housewives Organization XIII edition in just a moment.

**Vexen:** But first do we have a great deal in store for you.

**Xaldin**: 20 of the greatest pluming hits ever made are available to you starting at one easy payment of $19.99 and one payment that's a pain in the ass of $6.66.

**Vexen:** You know Xaldin, when I was a small lad and my toilet was clogged because I tried to flush my McDonalds toys down it; my mother would sing that great hit, 'Unclog that thing'.

**Demyx:** (to the chorus of 'Circle of life') You gotta unclog that thing!

**Zexion:** Before it overflows!

**Demyx:** Pull out your plunger, and pump it up.

**Zexion:** Till you unclog it, and are able to flush it.

**Demyx + Zexion:** Just unclog it, just unclog that thing.

**Xaldin:** That song is so touching.

**Vexen:** Hey Xaldin, did you know that they have the song 'Be our Plummer'?

**Xaldin:** No way, they played that song on my first date.

**Vexen:** Mine too!

**Zexion:** (to the tune of 'Be our guest') Be our Plummer, be our Plummer, we'll put your service to the test. Pull out your tool box sir and we'll observe the rest. Go on, pull out your plunger, take a glance and then you'll be our Plummer, be our Plummer, be our Plummer.

**Demyx:** Pipe by Pipe, One by one 'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!" Then we'll pay your expensive bill as you walk out the door. Tonight you'll count your earnings, but for now, you gotta work. Be our Plummer, Be our Plummer, Be our Plummer, please, be our Plummer!

**Swirly:** See you all next time.


	12. Episode 12

**Episode 12**

(In the studio, all the cast are sitting around a table…)

**Roxas:** Where has Swirly been, it's been months since the last update!

**Axel:** Yeah I know what you mean…

**Sora:** What's she been up to anyways?

**Riku:** Her routine is go to school at 6:40 AM, come home, do homework and study, then go to bed and do it the next day.

**Leon**: That sucks.

**Cloud:** (nods)

**Aerith:** What about the weekends?

**Riku:** More homework and studying…

**Sora:** We've gotta do something about this, before we lose readers.

**Roxas:** I agree with Sora, but who else can we get to run the show?

**Hayner**: We're not gonna get somebody else we're gonna get Swirly; ok here's the plan (insert whispering)

(The next day, 5th period study hall)

**Swirly:** (chatting with her buddies Frenchy and Ponies)

**Roxas:** (pops up) Hey Swirly.

**Axel:** D'ya miss us?

**Frenchy:** Who are these guys?

**Swirly**: Axel and Roxas.

**Ponies**: Aww they've finally decided to come out of the closet.

**Axel:** What the hell?

**Roxas:** We're here because Swirly hasn't updated in months.

**Ponies:** Bad Swirly! (slaps Swirly)

**Swirly:** WTF? O.o

**Axel:** So do you have homework?

**Swirly**: Actually no.

**Axel:** Good then you're going to write a fic right here and now.

**Swirly:** Alright then (clears throat) Welcome to Whose line is it tonight's players are Axel, Roxas, Frenchy, and Ponies. Our first game will be Props, Frenchy and Ponies here's yours (hands them two cafeteria treys) and Roxas and Axel here's yours (hands them two safety cones)

**Ponies**: I believe I can fly (waves the treys like wings)

-

**Axel:** (holding the cones to his chest) Like a Virgin, whoo.

-

**Ponies and Frenchy:** (holding the treys like they were shields)

**Ponies:** The dragon hath commith!

**Frenchy:** Aya, let's hide (they put the shields in front of their faces)

-

**Roxas + Axel:** (have the cones on their heads)

**Axel:** France, we are from France.

**Roxas:** Here have some chewing gum (hands Swirly a condom)

**Swirly:** (laughs) that was great, coneheads, lol! _(For those of you who don't get the joke, it's from a movie called 'Coneheads')_ Our next game is Questions only we'll starts with Ponies and Axel; the scene is shopping for that special someone's birthday, Axel will be the shopper Ponies will be the Clerk.

**Ponies:** Can I help you, sir?

**Axel:** I don't know, can you?

**Ponies**: What are you looking for?

**Axel:** Do you sell gifts for that special someone?

**Ponies:** Are you talking about your mother?

**Axel:** (cracks up)

**Roxas:** Hey there, how are you?

**Ponies:** Is there something I can help you with?

**Roxas:** What did you say to my friend?

**Ponies:** Do you mean the one who's shopping for his mother?

**Roxas:** Who else could I be talking about?

**Ponies:** Are you here to shop or to rant?

**Roxas:** Can I speak with the manager?

**Ponies**: Sure.

**Frenchy:** What's the trouble sir?

**Roxas:** Can you help me?

**Frenchy:** What do you need help with?

**Roxas**: I need to know, do you sell handcuffs?

**Swirly:** Wow, that was… different, so Roxas what are those for?

**Roxas:** I need them for you.

**Swirly:** O.O

**Axel**: It was a joke.

**Swirly:** Right, I knew that…Today's winners are Ponies and Roxas, last game is for them and its hoedown; and just for the heck of it let's sing about handcuffs!

**Ponies:** Just the other day, I went to see my boyfriend Jay. He was very happy, he looked at me _that way_. We went into his room and guess what he pulled out.

**Roxas:** Just the other day, I stole Axel's car. Put the keys in the ignition and drove really far. Was halfway down route 981, when I got pulled over by a guy with a gun. He put my hands behind his back and then said I had a nice rack.

**Swirly:** That's all I have time for today, see ya!


	13. Episode 13

Hey everyone it's Swirly, well at last I have completed my Civics course which means I will have time to update! I have to admit I did learn one thing in that class, as long as you **appear** to be paying attention, you can get away with reading manga in class. -

Oh! Illicit Memory and Akamori-Chan I haven't forgotten your suggestions!

**Episode 13**

(Xemnas, Vexen, Riku, and Roxas are sitting in chairs waiting for the show to start)

**Xemnas:** We've been waiting here for a month, where's Swirly?

**Vexen:** Are those cobwebs in your hair?

**Xemnas:** (looks at Vexen) Is that your ass or your face?

**Riku:** (rolls his eyes) Here we go again…

**Roxas:** I wish Swirly would hurry up and get here...

**Swirly:** (pops up) You called?

**Riku and Roxas:** About time!

**Swirly:** OK let's finally get this show on the road. Konnichi-wa mina-san, and welcome to Whose Line is it? A show where the points mean absolutely nothing; just like the results of my political spectrum test (it told me I'm undecided, lol). Let's get started; today's contestants are Roxas, Riku, Vexen, and Mansex.

**Xemnas:** What's with you fangirls butchering my name?

**Swirly:** Out first game was suggested by an audience member, they want Vexen and Mansex to act out a SoraKairi love scene.

**Vexen:** Can I be Kairi?

**Swirly:** Sure.

**Xemnas:** How come Vexen gets to pick his character?

**Swirly:** Do _you _wantto be Kairi?

**Xemnas:** No I'll be Sora.

**Swirly:** Then quit your bitchin' and start.

**Xemnas:** Hey ya Kairi.

**Vexen:** (giggles) Hey Sora, Riku sure is working hard on that raft. I don;'t really get the point of building a raft when we would just hot-wire a gummi ship.

**Xemnas:** That sounds like a good idea.

**Vexen:** Well then lets do it; we'll go right now, just the two of us, hold me Sora.

**Xemnas:** (_holds Vexen and stares deep into his eyes_)

**Vexen:** Ok this just got awkward, can we stop now?

**Xemnas:** You're the one who wanted to be held!

**Vexen:** You're still creepy.

**Swirly:** Right let's move onto our next game; Riku and Roxas this is for you, Riku is a physiatrist and Roxas is the patient.

**Roxas:** (lies down on the couch)

**Riku:** Hello Roxas, how are you today?

**Roxas:** …

**Riku:** You know you can tell me anything, are there any secrets you've been keeping that could be bothering you?

**Roxas:** Well to be perfectly honest… I'm a virgin… and a pop idol... and a serial killer... Oh yeah and Swirly keeps me in a box on her wall…

**Riku:** O.o umm where to start.

**Vexen**: Where to indeed… (Looks at Swirly)

**Swirly:** …What I don't take my action figures out of the box!

**Riku:** Well now that that's cleared up, what's this about being a serial killer?

**Roxas:** I murdered everyone in the organization…

**Riku:** Umm no you didn't, that was Sora.

**Roxas:** NO IT WAS ME!

**Riku:** O.o umm ok, why don't we go to a commercial?

**Roxas:** (pulls out a knife)

**Cartman:** Hey Chef how's it goin'?

**Chef:** Horrible, just horrible.

**Cartman:** How come?

**Stan:** He probably hasn't been getting any.

**Chef:** (sighs)

**Stan:** Hey Chef you know what you need?

**Chef:** What?

**Kenny:** Uhn Shweeish hayed henes henharger.

(_Jump cut to Chef holding the product_)

**Announcer guy:** Swedish made, satisfaction guaranteed.

**Chef:** It worked for me. (thumbs up)

**Swirly:** Who put that commercial in there? Oh would you look at the time; I gotta go now, so see ya next time!


	14. Episode 14

**Whose Line is it? – Episode 14**

_Swirly awoke one snowy morning; and sitting across the room was Roxas. So why is this day different then any other day you might be wondering…_

**Swirly:** (_rubs her eyes_) Morning Roxas (_yawns_)

**Roxas:** Have you forgotten anything?

**Swirly:** Ummm, no I think my drawing is ready for Deviantart yet, still gotta color it. **(A/N: my deviantart name is the same as my fanfics one)**

**Roxas:** Nope, try another website.

**Swirly:** The Jaganshi Guild on Neopets?

**Roxas:** No, your guild doesn't have anything new up.

**Swirly:** ummm Ichigo's forums?

**Roxas:** You haven't even posted anything there yet.

**Swirly:** Narutofan?

**Roxas**: NO; think about writing.

**Swirly:** Deviant art, no I already said that.

**Roxas:** -coughfanfictioncough-

**Swirly:** … Oh my gosh I haven't updated on Fanfics in a while!

**Roxas:** Mhmm now weren't you planning on doing another episode of Whose line is it, on your next snow day?

**Swirly:** Yes, let's check my plan book and see who's booked for today. (looks for it but can't find it)

**Roxas:** (tosses the book at her head)

**Swirly:** Oww, thanks I think (looks in book) What the--?

**Roxas:** I can't believe you forgot to book people.

**Swirly:** Now what do I do… wait I've got an idea and it just might work!

**(An hour later in a studio) **

**Swirly: **Welcome to another episode of Whose Line is it where the points don't mean anything; actually sometimes I don't even give points. Right today's show is going to work a little differently then usual, instead of having four people up here I'm going to draw names of audience members out of a hat and have them perform the skits. Our first game is moving puppets and the contestants will be Kairi, Marluxia, Hayner, and Aerith. I'll let you guys come up with the scenario.

**Marluxia:** Aerith and Kairi will move Hayner and myself.

**Hayner:** In this scene Marluxia is trying to sell me overpriced flowers.

**Kairi:** (_places Hayner's hands on his hips_)

**Aerith:** (_Puts Marluxia in the 'C' position in the YMCA_)

**Marluxia:** Excuse me.

**Hayner:** Are you talking to me?

**Kairi:** (_moves Hayner's arm and has him pointing at Marluxia_)

**Aerith:** (_Bends Marluxia over_)

**Hayner:** You don't look so well.

**Marluxia:** I was just taking a moment to say good morning to the ants, but enough of that (_Aerith stands him up strait_) you know what you need?

**Kairi:** _(Puts Hayner in a karate pose_)

**Hayner:** Kung Fu lessons?

**Marluxia:** Besides that.

**Hayner:** What?

**Marluxia:** You need to buy my flowers.

**Hayner:** Umm no.

**Marluxia:** Awww come on.

**Hayner:** NO!

**Aerith:** (_puts Marluxia in the fetal position_)

**Marluxia:** (_sobs_)

**Hayner:** Fine I'll buy a flower. (_Kairi places one of his arms strait in front of him and the other pointing to his wrist_) By the way do you know what time it is?

**Aerith:** (_Stands Marluxia up_)

**Marluxia:** It is 11:30 (_Aerith has him pointing at his crotch_) Now could you tell me where the nearest bathroom is?

**Swirly:** That was a nice touch; 100 points for Aerith and Marluxia. Our next game is weird newscasters and our contestants will be DiZ, Sora, Saix, and Roxas. Diz will be a Kingdom Hearts fanatic. Sora will be a paranoid reporter. Saix will be the emo weatherman. And Roxas will be the ditzy female sports reporter.

**Roxas:** Why do I have to be a girl?

**Swirly:** Cause you're pretty, now get started.

**Diz:** (_sitting at a desk_) Welcome to news at 5, I'm Diz and I just beat KHCOM for the 346th time. That game is such a bitch with the card based fighting and cause it's on gameboy, but the good news is that Kingdom Heats Chain of memories final mix for the PS2 is coming to the states next year. **(A/N: I heard this from a friend who heard this from Kingdom Heart Insider, I'm not sure if it'll happen, if anyone knows for sure let me know) **But I'm getting off track, tonight's top story; there have been a series of strange deaths in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Live at the scene is our reporter Sora.

**Sora:** (_trembling)_ I'm here at the scene, where six days ago my phone rang and I received a collect call telling me I have seven days to live. Anyway I have a feeling that these deaths are somehow connected by the phone calls and OHMYGODWHAT'STHAT? I'm gonna have to go now, I hear rustling in the bushes and have the strangest feeling that someone's watching me. Here's Saix with your daily forecast.

**Saix:** (_Hair is in his face_) Hello everybody, today's forecast is all like cloudy and dark like my soul. Riight, I'm gonna go read Catcher in the Rye now, it makes me "happy". Now Roxas with Sports.

**Roxas**: Like oh my god Saix you are such a dowwwwner. So like here I am on at this game where these smelly buff guys throw a ball back and forth and try to get homeruns by throwing the ball between two posts; now what'd that… oh yeah tennis. So I'm here with one of the Athletes now, tell us Laxaeus what's it like being a big tennis star?

**Laxaeus:** Well first of all Roxas, it's football not tennis, and those are touchdowns not homeruns—

**Roxas:** Alright thaaaank you Laxaeus that all the like time we have for today, later! (_Trips over his own mic wire_)

**Swirly:** Wow Roxas that was good, surprisingly good.

**Roxas:** If this is your idea of payback for me throwing a book at your head you're as sadistic as Larxene.

**Swirly:** K moving on.

**Roxas:** No not 'k moving on' you didn't answer me.

**Swirly:** I'll talk to you after the show.

**Roxas:** …alright fine then, I'll be backstage.

**Swirly:** Next contestants are Zexion and Namine; here's your prop (hands them sticks) and Xemnas and Larxene here are yours (hands them bowls)

**Zexion:** (_holding it like the keyblade_)

**Namine:** (_holding it like a magic wand_) Curaga!

**Zexion:** Thanks Donald

**(Buzz)**

**Larxene:** (_wearing bowl like a helmet_) Alright men open fire!

**Xemnas:** (_also wearing his bowl makes gun sounds_)

**(Buzz)**

**Zexion:** (_holding the sticks over his shoulder_) Guess I'm the only one working on the raft. And you're just as lazy as he is.

**Namine:** So you noticed.

**(Buzz)**

**Xemnas:** Cooking is so fun, cooking is so fun; time to put it in the pan and see what we have done.

**Larxene**: (_anime-style sweatdrop_)

**(Buzz)**

**Zexion:** (_standing against a wall with his hood up_)

**Namine:** (_swinging the stick like a sword, tosses it over her shoulder and it hits Zexion's chest_) Oh uhh sorry about that.

**(Buzz)**

**Xemnas:** (holding _the bowls to his chest_) I feel pretty oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay

**Larxene:** You're done, Mansex.

**(Buzz)**

**Zexion:** OH my god, I can't believe the items in this game. I mean you get a bag of 5000 munny that you can't even use and then—

**Namine:** (_holding the sticks_) Then they use the ice cream as a major plot device!

**(Buzz)**

**Larxene:** (_Bowl over her face_)

**Xemnas:** (_bowl over his face, he and Larxene are moon walking and crash into each other and fall over_) Houston we have a problem…

**Swirly:** Nice job with the KH parodies Zexion and Namine, 200 points each and 5 for Larxene and Xemnas. Next game will be greatest hits. Featuring Pence and King Mickey, who will try to sell the album; and the singers will be Donald and Cid. The Album is about Toasters.

**King Mickey:** Hello boys and girls, have we got a great offer for you.

**Pence:** That's right, ever sit by the toaster waiting for your toast to pop up and just feel utterly bored?

**King Mickey:** Well you won't have to anymore with the Greatest Toaster hits; this six disk collection has songs like Butter your Bread.

**Cid:** (_to the tune of Cruella Devil_) Butter your bread, butter your bread

**Donald:** If you don't like butter; then that is just sad.

**Cid:** Cause butter is so swell, butter butter your bread.

**Pence:** I remember hearing that song for the first time at my junior high dance.

**King Mickey:** Ahh such fond memories, hey do you remember the Toast March?

**Cid:** _(to the tune of the Mickey mouse march)_ What do you do with bread that's good for you and me. T-O-A-S T-O-A-S T-O-A-S-T. Make some toast.

**Donald:** Or waffles

**Cid:** Make some toast.

**Donald:** Or waffles.

**Cid:** Make some toast. Toast is really good for wheat and rye.

**Donald:** Rye Rye Rye.

**Cid:** Come along and make some toast, it's really yummy T-O-A-S T-O-A-S T-O-A-S-T.

**Swirly:** I have a feeling that one's gonna be as popular as that I can't wait to brush my teeth song… Next up is Questions only; our contestants are Leon and Cloud. Leon you are Cloud's butler. Cloud, congrats you're rich, begin.

**Cloud**: Leon where are you?

**Leon:** Did you call?

**Cloud:** Didn't you hear me calling you for the past ten minutes?

**Leon:** How can you hear anything in this house?

**Cloud:** What are you talking about?

**Leon:** Did you need something?

**Cloud:** Why are you changing the subject?

**Leon:** Why are you accusing me of changing the subject?

**Cloud**: Why are you arguing?

**Leon:** Do you or do you not need something?

**Cloud:** Could you make me an espresso?

**Leon:** Why don't you make it yourself?

**Cloud:** How would you feel if I fired you?

**Leon:** What makes you think I'd give a damn?

**Cloud:** That's it you're fired.

**Swirly:** Nice job. Now it's time for our last game of the day; the alphabet game played by Vexen, Goofy, Riku, and Demyx. The scene is St. Patrick's day and you're at a parade, start on the letter G.

**Goofy:** Gawrsh, look at all the floats, ahuck.

**Riku:** Hey, that one looks like a heartless!

**Vexen:** I think this is boring.

**Demyx:** Just lighten up already Vexen, it's not our fault you don't have fans.

**Vexen:** Kicks Demyx for saying that.

**Goofy:** Like why did you just narrate what you did?

**Vexen:** Maybe because I feel like it said Vexen in an irritated voice.

**Riku:** NOOO can't you see you're fighting is tearing us all apart!

**Vexen:** Oh Riku we're sorry.

**Demyx:** Please don't be sad.

**Goofy:** Queen Minney, there's a float of queen Minnie!

**Demyx:** Really?

**Vexen**: So are you ok now Riku?

**Goofy:** There's no reason to be sad on a day like this.

**Demyx:** Ugly, that float is ugly!

**Vexen:** Very ugly indeed.

**Riku:** Which one?

**Goofy:** Xemnas, a giant Xemnas float.

**Riku:** You've got to be kidding me.

**Demyx**: Zexion would say "As if the superior's head could get any bigger"

**Vexen:** Asshole is what the superior would call him.

**Demyx:** Better stop talking about them behind their backs or they'll hurt us.

**Vexen:** Come on don't be such a coward.

**Riku:** Dang I wish I had a camera.

**Goofy:** Every time there's a parade you forget your digital camera.

**Zexion:** Feh, who needs a digital camera when you've got a camera phone.

**Swirly:** That's all the time we have today, I've gotta go deal with Roxas, later everyone!


End file.
